Identity...

Recently I got to celebrate my fourth year since accepting God’s saving grace and becoming His child! December was four years since I accepted the sacrifice that Christ was for me! Christ died so that I could spend eternity with the Father, it still blows my mind! 

Today while I was at school I was talking with a group of girls. We were talking about dating, marriage, love! One of the girls said that she already knew that her boyfriend was not the man she would marry and spend the rest of her life with! We asked her why she was still dating him and her answer broke my heart! Her answer was that she would date him for now because she did not want to be alone! Those words broke my heart and they made me think about the truth I have just learnt in the past year!

Where is your identity? What does your identity lie in? Society paints a picture of things that we should put our identity in. Society paints the picture that our identity is to be in the things we have, our looks, our relationships, our careers, anything that is self consuming. When I look at the things of society and I look at the people, especially the young girls and young women my heart breaks. I see society telling us that we have to wear “sexy” clothing to be beautiful and to get the attention of men. Society tells us that in order to be beautiful we have to wear clothing that reveals much and we have to wear an overwhelming amount of makeup, we have to look like the airbrushed models on the covers of magazines. I also see society telling young girls and young women that in order to find a guy or love you must have sex, society makes it seem as if everyone is having sex outside of marriage and it is perfectly okay. I see society telling us that it is about the things that we have and the way we look, it is about nothing more.

For many years I struggled with wanting to be noticed, wanting to be beautiful, and wanting to be loved. For awhile I thought that I wasn’t beautiful because I was not living up to the standards of society, I did not look like all of the models that represent our idea of beauty, therefore I felt ugly and unloveable. I also wanted to be loved and I fell into the ways that society says that we get love. Society tells young girls and young women that sex will get them love, and sadly many girls fall for this and it is so far from the truth. Just writing this and thinking about the lies that society feeds to men and women, the lies that are bought into each and everyday by millions of people, breaks my heart!

I believed I had to do the things that society said until four years ago. In February 2008, I had everything. I was pursuing my bachelors degree, I was dating the man I would marry (at least that is what my plan was), I was partying and having fun. My life, measured in the standards of society, was a success. In December of 2008 all of that had changed and I crashed to rock bottom. All I can say about that time was that I hurt and I wanted the pain to stop. I remember weeping and crying out to whomever. I just wept alone and cried out until I fell asleep. When I awoke the next morning my life was forever changed. You see that night I cried out to God, and He poured His love, mercy, and grace on me! I had heard the Gospel many times but never did I have a personal connection until that night. When I awoke that morning I knew God loved me and my life had to radically change if I was going to survive. At that point I knew I was a child of God and I knew that I was never alone because God was always there.

Though I knew God was there and He loved me it was still hard to abandon the way that society said that I had to live. I still struggled with knowing I was beautiful, I still struggled with wanting to be loved and looking for love in all the wrong places. It was not easy to quit believing the lies of society!

This past year while I was on a trip to South Asia the Lord put me on a team with a sister in Christ who He would use to speak truth into my life. You see, I knew God was there and He loved me, but I was still missing something. It was as if there was a puzzle and I was missing one of the pieces. I have been able to run from some of the lies of society and I had grown in the Lord but I struggled with being confident in who I was, I struggled in my identity. But God, He is so awesome!! While in South Asia I kept hearing this girl talk about her identity being in Christ. I had never heard this and I had no clue what she was talking about. As she talked throughout the week, I listened, and I searched God’s word to try and understand what she was talking about. 

God taught me that when He calls us, when He saves us, because of the sacrifice of Christ, because of the love of God we are to be set apart from this world. Our identity is to be in Jesus not in this world. My identity is not to be formed by the things that society says I must do but by the things of God’s word. God tells us in His word to be set apart. 

((Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2))

These are some of the things that God’s word says:

((As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 1 Peter 1: 14-16))

((Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 1 Thessalonians 4: 1-7))

((If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3: 1-17))

God has shown me through prayer and His word that my identity is in Christ. My identity is in being holy as Christ is holy! I am to protect my temple, my body, because I am God’s child and I am precious! My identity is not in the things of this world or the things that society says that I have to do! God’s word tells me to be set apart, and I will be set apart for Him and His kingdom! As I grow in the Lord, as I spend more time in His word, He reveals more to me about what my identity in Christ means. The thing that I know for sure is that I am not to let society tell me what my life is to look like or who I am to be, I am to follow God’s word!

I hope you know your identity is in Christ! Please know you are beautiful! You are beautiful because you are you, you were created by a mighty God! Please know that you do not have to look like the image that society paints to be beautiful! And please know that you are precious and you are loved! You do not have to give your body away to get love, you are loved and you are to protect your body! You were created by a mighty God and He so desires for you to protect yourself, not give yourself away in the search for love. Be confident in who you are and be content in where God has you! Talk to Him, study His word, ask Him to teach you about your identity being in Christ, ask Him to help you be set apart from this world, and ask Him to help you to be confident in who He created you to be (you will need His strength for this!!) If you do not know God, He so desires to have a relationship with you because He loves you!!