God's Plan, right?

God’s Plan, Right?

((Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6))

WOW! What a year it has been and what an AWESOME God we have! God’s grace and mercy are beyond my understanding! This year has been a year of fear, pain, and suffering but there has also been much joy! God is so good and He is ALWAYS faithful!!

I am very much a planner. It is in my personality, in my nature, in who I am. I like to know what is going to happen and when it is going to happen. I like to have a plan for what I am doing and what I am going to do. Sure I like surprises and I can be flexible but I like very much to have a plan. Last year I started the process to spend two years of my life overseas. I planned to leave in January and come back sometime in 2015. I thought very much that my plan was the plan that God had for me. Everything was coming together. I got my assignment, I had my support, I was saying goodbye, I was packing my bags, and I was printing out my airplane ticket! God had called me to this journey and I was ready to begin this journey! Or so I thought! 

December came and I started to get this little feeling and I started to hear this little voice of uncertainty. Maybe I shouldn’t go overseas, maybe I was suppose to stay here. Maybe God had a different plan! But God could not have a different plan, He had called me to go overseas and He had opened every door to allow me this opportunity, if this was not God’s calling He would have shut the door long before now and this uncertainty had to be from fear or anxiety, right? God wants us to serve Him, He called me to do this and I was doing this. The people I loved supported me in this journey and that meant that it was a definite calling from God. I had just graduated with a degree in missions, this was God’s plan and I was going through with it. All I had heard for the past few years was go, and I love being overseas more than I like being in the states, and I was comfortable leaving home so God did call me to do this and I was going no matter what uncertainties I had and no matter what I heard the little voice saying. Thats it, I am leaving in January to go where God has called me. Or to go where I thought God had called me...

As December neared to the end the fear and uncertainty did not go away. I felt this uncertainty inside of me and I kept shoving it away, I kept telling myself that I was going because God had called me and He would take care of me. I could not tell these people who loved and supported me that after months of preparation and a sure calling from God that I was not going overseas. I could not tell them that it was not actually God’s plan for me right now, what would they say, what would they think? I could not allow myself not to go overseas, what was wrong with me? My hearts desire is to be with these people in other nations, to go and to serve, why was there uncertainty? Why did I feel like I should stay? This could not be from God, God did not want people to stay here, He wants people to go. Go, go, fulfill the great commission, go tell people, go to the nations, everything I had heard said to go and I was on the track to go so I must go. This has to be God’s plan and the uncertainty was my flesh, my feelings, my selfishness, my fear, right? God calls us to go not to stay home, right? 

December ended and January came, three weeks until I am to be dropped off at the airport, three weeks until me and my bags board the plane and follow this plan God has for my life. January 1 came and my plans were shattered, my heart was broken, and the reason for the uncertainty surfaced. God truly had another plan. In this plan there would be pain and suffering that I had not expected. Pain and suffering were not in my plan, but sometimes pain and suffering our in God’s plan so that we grow in Him and we learn to praise Him in all things, including the storm. For many months I had been praying about one thing in particular: where did God want me to serve, what did He want me doing in this season of my life? I had not been in church as a child, I only began going to church while in high school. I had been going to the same church for nearly ten years and I loved the people, this church had become my family and they walked with me through many trials in my life. Sometime last year, I can not really explain it, but I felt like it might be time for me to serve somewhere else. I did not want to leave this family of mine, I could not understand why I would have this feeling other than maybe selfish reasons, God was not calling me from my church, He brought me there, and put these people in my life to love me when I needed love the most. God was not calling me to leave, this was my own selfish flesh. God wanted me to stay and serve this church. As the year ended and the doors opened for me to serve overseas, I knew why I had this feeling earlier in the year, God was not calling me to leave this church, He was calling me overseas. Now it made sense, my church would support me and I would serve overseas. When I told my church, they did indeed support me and encourage me, and this confirmed to me that this was God’s plan. If they were so supporting and encouraging of me fulfilling the great commission and God had called me to go this had to be God’s plan, right?

January 1 my prayers were answered, I received confirmation from the Lord, and I had to be obedient. I had been praying for much of 2012 that God would show me what He needed me to do, where He needed me to serve, I had been praying about whether or not I was to stay at my church or whether He was truly calling me away. On January 1 I got the confirmation that God was indeed calling me away from the only church I knew, He was calling me to “leave” this family, and to serve Him somewhere else. Somewhere else, really? Somewhere else, meaning not overseas? This was not my plan, this was not what I wanted! But I did want to be obedient, I just wish obedience meant overseas and not the pain and suffering that was soon to come. Leaving a place I had been for ten years, leaving a family that had loved me and supported me in so much of my life, this was not what I wanted to do, but this was God’s plan. I thought maybe I had created this idea because I had a little anxiety about going overseas, I had a little fear about leaving those I love. I sought godly council, and through that it was confirmed. God’s plan was for me to stay, for me to leave this church who I loved dearly. His plan was for me to be here!

Not going overseas was hard, my hearts desire is to be in the nations. Leaving a church who loved me and supported me was far from easy. There was much pain, there is still pain. But I have to trust God. This year there has been much uncertainty, and much pain, but God. God used last year to teach me so much. I would not trade any of it for anything. God used the time preparing to go overseas to reveal to me the grace He has poured out on my life. God has poured His grace on me and healed many wounds so that I can serve Him! God used that time to teach me that I do love people and I do have the heart to serve Him in the nations but there are some places in my life that I need to grow in Him. God used this year to teach me that pain and suffering can be used to grow in Him! God has been and will always be faithful! God has taught me that He does call us to go and it may be His plan for me later but right now I need to trust Him and let Him make the plans. He is in control, I do not always need to plan, I need to rest in Him. 

The point of this blog, I do not really know. I just know that God is good and He is faithful. Sometimes we have the best intentions and we come up with the “best plans,” but God! His plans and His timing are ALWAYS better than ours! Trust Him, rest in Him, let Him lead and you follow! Enjoy today, enjoy salvation in Him, enjoy this minute, enjoy this breath He has given you! 

((And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens:they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow:they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

 “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12: 22-34.))

Identity...

Recently I got to celebrate my fourth year since accepting God’s saving grace and becoming His child! December was four years since I accepted the sacrifice that Christ was for me! Christ died so that I could spend eternity with the Father, it still blows my mind! 

Today while I was at school I was talking with a group of girls. We were talking about dating, marriage, love! One of the girls said that she already knew that her boyfriend was not the man she would marry and spend the rest of her life with! We asked her why she was still dating him and her answer broke my heart! Her answer was that she would date him for now because she did not want to be alone! Those words broke my heart and they made me think about the truth I have just learnt in the past year!

Where is your identity? What does your identity lie in? Society paints a picture of things that we should put our identity in. Society paints the picture that our identity is to be in the things we have, our looks, our relationships, our careers, anything that is self consuming. When I look at the things of society and I look at the people, especially the young girls and young women my heart breaks. I see society telling us that we have to wear “sexy” clothing to be beautiful and to get the attention of men. Society tells us that in order to be beautiful we have to wear clothing that reveals much and we have to wear an overwhelming amount of makeup, we have to look like the airbrushed models on the covers of magazines. I also see society telling young girls and young women that in order to find a guy or love you must have sex, society makes it seem as if everyone is having sex outside of marriage and it is perfectly okay. I see society telling us that it is about the things that we have and the way we look, it is about nothing more.

For many years I struggled with wanting to be noticed, wanting to be beautiful, and wanting to be loved. For awhile I thought that I wasn’t beautiful because I was not living up to the standards of society, I did not look like all of the models that represent our idea of beauty, therefore I felt ugly and unloveable. I also wanted to be loved and I fell into the ways that society says that we get love. Society tells young girls and young women that sex will get them love, and sadly many girls fall for this and it is so far from the truth. Just writing this and thinking about the lies that society feeds to men and women, the lies that are bought into each and everyday by millions of people, breaks my heart!

I believed I had to do the things that society said until four years ago. In February 2008, I had everything. I was pursuing my bachelors degree, I was dating the man I would marry (at least that is what my plan was), I was partying and having fun. My life, measured in the standards of society, was a success. In December of 2008 all of that had changed and I crashed to rock bottom. All I can say about that time was that I hurt and I wanted the pain to stop. I remember weeping and crying out to whomever. I just wept alone and cried out until I fell asleep. When I awoke the next morning my life was forever changed. You see that night I cried out to God, and He poured His love, mercy, and grace on me! I had heard the Gospel many times but never did I have a personal connection until that night. When I awoke that morning I knew God loved me and my life had to radically change if I was going to survive. At that point I knew I was a child of God and I knew that I was never alone because God was always there.

Though I knew God was there and He loved me it was still hard to abandon the way that society said that I had to live. I still struggled with knowing I was beautiful, I still struggled with wanting to be loved and looking for love in all the wrong places. It was not easy to quit believing the lies of society!

This past year while I was on a trip to South Asia the Lord put me on a team with a sister in Christ who He would use to speak truth into my life. You see, I knew God was there and He loved me, but I was still missing something. It was as if there was a puzzle and I was missing one of the pieces. I have been able to run from some of the lies of society and I had grown in the Lord but I struggled with being confident in who I was, I struggled in my identity. But God, He is so awesome!! While in South Asia I kept hearing this girl talk about her identity being in Christ. I had never heard this and I had no clue what she was talking about. As she talked throughout the week, I listened, and I searched God’s word to try and understand what she was talking about. 

God taught me that when He calls us, when He saves us, because of the sacrifice of Christ, because of the love of God we are to be set apart from this world. Our identity is to be in Jesus not in this world. My identity is not to be formed by the things that society says I must do but by the things of God’s word. God tells us in His word to be set apart. 

((Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2))

These are some of the things that God’s word says:

((As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 1 Peter 1: 14-16))

((Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 1 Thessalonians 4: 1-7))

((If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3: 1-17))

God has shown me through prayer and His word that my identity is in Christ. My identity is in being holy as Christ is holy! I am to protect my temple, my body, because I am God’s child and I am precious! My identity is not in the things of this world or the things that society says that I have to do! God’s word tells me to be set apart, and I will be set apart for Him and His kingdom! As I grow in the Lord, as I spend more time in His word, He reveals more to me about what my identity in Christ means. The thing that I know for sure is that I am not to let society tell me what my life is to look like or who I am to be, I am to follow God’s word!

I hope you know your identity is in Christ! Please know you are beautiful! You are beautiful because you are you, you were created by a mighty God! Please know that you do not have to look like the image that society paints to be beautiful! And please know that you are precious and you are loved! You do not have to give your body away to get love, you are loved and you are to protect your body! You were created by a mighty God and He so desires for you to protect yourself, not give yourself away in the search for love. Be confident in who you are and be content in where God has you! Talk to Him, study His word, ask Him to teach you about your identity being in Christ, ask Him to help you be set apart from this world, and ask Him to help you to be confident in who He created you to be (you will need His strength for this!!) If you do not know God, He so desires to have a relationship with you because He loves you!! 

Beauty...

<<This is a burden of mine, maybe if we pray together we can find a way to reach those who are struggling with finding beauty...>>

As I was driving this week I heard a frightening statistic on the radio. They were talking about eating disorders and the people who struggle with eating disorders. They said that today they see people as young as five years old struggling with an eating disorder. Five years old! At five children should be playing and loving life not worrying about their looks, their weight, their appearance. But the world tells us otherwise, society puts an emphasis on beauty and ones looks. 

As a girl, as a women, I know the pressure that society places on us to be beautiful. Society tells us we have to be beautiful to be loved and to be beautiful we have to meet their standard. To be beautiful we must be a certain weight, wear our hair a certain way, wear our makeup their way, and wear certain clothes. If we do not look like society tells us we must then we are not beautiful! When I go to the doctors office I often read the magazines just to see what society is saying and each time it breaks my heart. There are always really “pretty” girls on the cover and as you read there are more of these “pretty” girls dressed in scandalous clothing and we are told that we must look like this to be beautiful and to be loved.

As a teenager I struggled with being content with who I was and with the way I looked. I often read these magazines and watched television and tried to meet the standards of society so that I could be beautiful and be loved. Most of the time when I looked in the mirror my heart broke because I did not look like the models and the people that defined beauty and I felt like I was never going to be beautiful and in turn I’d never be lovable. This lead me to live in a secret life of depression and self injury. 

As children of God we need to step up and let girls, and women for that matter, know that beauty is not what society calls beautiful. Beauty is not dressing like the models and having the body of the models in the magazines or on television. Recently I was reminded that God created each and everyone of us and He created us uniquely. God created us in His image, 

((Then God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Genesis 1: 26))

What does being created in God’s image mean?? Does being created in God’s image mean that we look like those women in the magazines or on television? No, I think that being created in God’s image means that we are all unique and we are all beautiful! As God’s children we are to be set apart! God called us to be holy, to live holy lives. 

((...but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct... 1 Peter 1: 15))

We should be concerned with our bodies and with our beauty but not in the way that society says that we should be. 

((Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple. 1 Corinthians 3: 16-17))

Our bodies are a temple of God. As believers His Spirit dwells in us we should take care of our temple. We should exercise, we should eat right, we should abstain from things that will hurt our bodies. But we should not be obsessed with these things. We should not focus on doing these things for our selfish gains or desires, we should do these things because we love God and we want to honor Him in taking care of the temple that He has given us. When I think about beauty I think that those who are content in who they are and do not seek to fit in the mold that society says that we must fit in are beautiful! Most importantly, as children of God, OUr beauty lies in our love for the Lord and our contentness of where He has us, not in our meeting the standards of the magazine.

If your talking to someone who does not know the Lord, you may not want to start by telling them that their body is a temple of God. You can but that may be extremely hard for them to understand without knowing God and His love, grave, mercy, and forgiveness; without understanding Christ’s sacrifice! Tell everyone, believer or nonbeliever, that they are beautiful and not because they look the way society tells them but because they are unique and because they are who they are!  We need to encourage everyone, but especially girls and young women, to realize how precious they are! They are precious and beautiful, not because they meet the standards society sets but because they are who they are! Just think about how you can encourage young girls and young women! Many people, men and women, struggle with eating disorders, self injury, and depression because of the standards society places on us, find ways to encourage those around you to see themselves as the beautiful creation they are! You could save a life!!

God's Plan...

((Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18))

2012 was a great year for me! God taught me so many things throughout the year! The lessons began near the end of 2011 when I traveled with a wonderful group to Haiti. The week we spent together taught me so much, the people God blessed me with the opportunity to serve alongside were amazing. God placed people in my life who showed me real faith! A hurricane was heading our way and the people I was with went straight to prayer, there was no fear there was only faith in God and His plan for us. That week started my journey to grow in prayer. I saw people really pray and I met people who knew a lot about prayer and how to pray. The Lord had already shown me that I needed to grow in Scripture reading and prayer. This was my opportunity to observe brothers and sisters in Christ and to learn from them about prayer. 

Since the trip to Haiti I have learned a tremendous amount about prayer and my own prayer life has grown. From one of the relationships I made in Haiti, I was encouraged to join a local prayer team here at home. The prayer team meets once a month and drives and prays in and around the county. The prayer team is a team that was birthed out of the homeless shelter that is being shaped in our county. After I prayed about joining the team, I indeed joined and God blessed me with more great relationships with sisters! One of the sisters began to teach me so much without even knowing that she was helping me to grow in the Lord! She had a sweet family member who was in need of prayer! I thought well I can pray so I started praying for this sweet family member! I saw God work in mighty ways and my prayer life was strengthened and my faith grew, my relationship with the Lord grew! 

I went on a trip to South Asia near the beginning of this year. On that trip I spent most of the week with a sister in Christ who at first seemed to be someone I might not really get along with. Oh how I was wrong! The Lord used her the week that we were in South Asia to teach me about my identity being in Christ and not this world! I saw her faith and her assurance that her identity was in Christ and nothing else. Her knowledge of the Scriptures was incredible! I was blessed in this week to be taught that my identity was in Christ and not in the things of this world! I saw the importance of studying and knowing the Word of God!! I was greatly encouraged by her to be in the word more and to know the word, to have God’s word written on my heart so that anytime I could recall His word!! I praise God for the sweet time I had in South Asia and I praise Him for molding me and growing me while I was there! I thank Him for the sweet sisters He has used to help me grow closer to Him!

((I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12: 1-2))

God was not through teaching me after the South Asia trip! In the summer I was able to travel with a group to Africa. My best friend and I traveled with fifteen other people and we got to share the Gospel with so many people! I was so excited for this trip but I had no clue the things that God had in store for me! I have been overseas quite a few times and I have helped plant seeds but I have never prayed with anyone to receive Christ! That changed while I was in Africa! I got to share my story, share the Gospel, see many come to Christ, and I got to pray with two people when they accepted Christ! It was amazing to see fruit! God is so good! Also during that week I meet another sister in Christ who God used to teach me and to mold me! She helped me to understand what being content in life situations meant! She and I had similar testimonies and were in similar places in life and to see her demonstrate such contentment was encouraging to me. She helped me to realize that I need to be content in Christ, nothing is better than the love of Christ! I praise God for her! I praise God for the opportunity to serve and to make relationships with other brothers and sisters!

((Brothers, my heart's desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved. Romans 10: 1))

By July of 2012 God had taught me so much and I was growing in Him. I could not imagine what else He was going to do in my life! God is so good! In August He orchestrated the circumstances that allowed me the time and resources to be able to finish school and to graduate in December Praise God for giving me the strength and endurance to make it through!! Knowing that I was to graduate in December I began to apply in January to a program that would allow me to serve overseas for a few years. In October I went to make my job selection! Oh what a great weekend that was! God taught me so much!! I heard God speak to me for the first time. He showed me how He speaks through His word, prayer, and other believers! He also used a sweet, godly woman to affirm me and to encourage me. She was so sweet, and the things she said affirmed that my life has been radically changed only by the power of Christ! 

As 2012 ended I realized that God was teaching me His faithfulness! God is good and He is faithful! ((God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. 1 Corinthians 1:9)) Many times in Scripture we see that God is faithful, and that is so true!! He is faithful in all things and all seasons!! And as 2013 has begun I am seeing God’s faithfulness!! God has a plan for all of us and He is showing me that His plans are better than any I could ever create. The plan was that I was going to go overseas for a few years in just a few short weeks. But God!! When 2013 started God started revealing things to me and changes started being made in my plan! I know without a shadow of a doubt that God saved me and He gave me a heart for the nations, but I also know that God’s plans are always the best plans. In the past week I have prayed much and I have sought godly council. It has been amazing to see how God uses other believers in our lives. God has used three brothers to encourage me, to affirm me, and to confirm the things that I need to do in this season! After praying and seeking council I realize that right now God’s plan is not for me to be overseas, His plan is for me to be here. He has shown me areas where I need to grow and He has called me to make some changes in my life so here I am for now. In all seasons God is faithful, even in the painful seasons, the seasons filled with questions that we can’t answer. 

When people ask all I can say is God is good, He is faithful, and He has a plan! 

((Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. 1 Peter 4: 12-16))